NDEs & THE VOID (All Cases)

Wayne Bush

The Creator was amused by my struggle to not return to my body and I was becoming angry at my progress. When I re-entered my body it was the worse pain I ever experienced. -- Lisa B

While I was in the void, I was aware that I was somewhere but not aware of me. There was no ‘me’ or ‘I’. No awareness of having been anything before the void but I knew I was separate from the void and was travelling through it...

There was nothing to see, just a complete void which, although I describe as 'black' was actually nothing so I don't know how to compare it with human vision. I could 'see' that I was somewhere but not with my eyes because I had no form... there were no sounds in the void...

A vast, never-ending void where, although I was separate from the void; there was no earthly ‘I’, just peace; blissful peace...

In the void there is nothing but it is a peaceful, one could almost say, loving nothing...

Being (or rather not 'being') in the void was blissful and peaceful in a way that no words can really, usefully describe. I had always been scared of death and dying; having been dead and experienced the complete peacefulness of it, I am no longer afraid. -- Bonnie W

In the Void, my life was just a collection of thoughts and memories. The emotional charge that I get from positive/negative events in my life didn't exist or have any meaning for me anymore...

I am still unable to fully explain in words. I have just started with key words and built from there. Void, Black, Alone, Floating, Thoughts, Memories, Detachment, Sad -- Fawn R

Time passed in a strange way and now I know I was given the time I needed to come to terms with reality and feel calm. When I felt calm and at peace I looked around which is funny to say since I wasn't 'looking' in the traditional sense yet I was looking and saw nothing. I think I thought I was condemned and maybe hell was being locked in this void for all eternity. No matter how I tried, there was nothing. I became anxious and then maybe resigned a little but then I saw a tiny light. It could have been a pin hole in black fabric. It was so small. Since it was the only thing to look at, I looked at it.

In time, I dared to wonder what it was. When I thought I wanted to get close enough to see what it was, I was there! It was astonishing to me. I peered in and saw a movie, for lack of a better description, playing across with the void above, below, and behind and it came from nowhere and disappeared into nowhere. It was life, on this earth... -- Ally D

In 1973, again same dentists, they administer the drug, I'm back in the void. I realize that I have been here before. The light appears again. No hesitation I go to it. Getting closer. All of a sudden I think, 'What if this is a trick? What if this is bad?' An extremely fearful situation. Boom! I'm falling away. Hard to describe this hell. Again, I come out of the drug extremely scared. -- Levi J

The best part of this entire experience was the love. I've never felt love like that. It wasn't even describable in our English language. The best way I can describe it was like when you get into a bath and the water seeps into you warming every part of you. Well, replace the water with love. As I was floating in 'space', and absorbing all this love, I could see that I was carried very slowly toward a part of a triangle. It looked like these planes/grid lines were going closer and closer together. I wondered what it was, but I was so at peace and felt so much love, that I couldn't help but just bathe in it. There was nothing else, no worries, no body, no other people, and no light. There was just love encompassing everything, which was nothing.

It's so hard to explain. As I float there experiencing 'nothingness and everything all in one', I all of a sudden feel this giant pull, like a vacuum sucking me. Then I remember this huge rush of 'energy' and me trying to get back into my body through my head and eyes, it was like there was a vacuum sucking me back in... It was fascinating to experience all these human emotions as they didn't exist in the 'void' or whatever you want to call it. Oh and the last thing, I realized who 'GOD' was when I was there in the void. It was like the information was just known, not even taught or learned, just all knowing. I knew 'GOD' was the love I was feeling. It amazes me that a dark space, void of people, and being all alone, was the most beautiful loving experience I could ever have... When I was in that place/void I realized that my beliefs about God weren't real. Well they were real, but completely limited by the mind. I found out that God was love, like air. We absorb it, heck we are it! ;) -- Vanessa W

It was just that - good. Nothing fabulous, miraculous, or brilliant. Just 'good'. Perfectly, clearly, good. I could have spent a trillion years right there, with that presence, whatever it was. But the hard thing to explain is that there was no 'trillion years'. There was just NOW. I had no sense of future. It's only now that I am alive that I know that I could have been content with an eternity like that. At the time, any concept of 'eternity' was beyond my experience, for 'time' was beyond my experience. The glorious euphoric peace, the presence, and the empty, falling, now-ness with no past or future - I can't recapture it, and it has changed my life. I need to talk to others about it, and as a scientist, I know that it was probably 'just anoxia' - but there is so much more to it that cannot be explained - and yes, it has changed my life. Not what I saw, or heard, but what I felt.

My priorities lined up, my values came into focus, everything in that void where one would think 'Nothing' existed - the only reason it is called 'Nothing', I believe, is that there is no Time, and existence is purely Being. That was my experience. Perhaps this is what the existentialist philosophers tried so hard to communicate, this 'being-in-the moment', this awareness of self - what they stated was paltry compared to this. What I felt was powerful and intense and life changing. It transcended any mere 'moment'. When I die, if this is what I will feel for all eternity, I await it. -- Alison D

As I flew through the air, I was transported to a dimension of void or limitlessness where everything was very quiet and peaceful. I felt an overwhelming sense that this was indeed my death, and it did not bother me in that space one bit. Time was incredibly distorted, and for about ten minutes I watched the void, waiting for what came next.

An indigo light appeared as a field surrounding me from the furthest reaches of this 'space' and I became aware that I was a luminous body, transparent and gossamer. This indigo light was very far away but surrounded me on all sides like a bubble. It briefly turned orange and then began to close in on me, getting closer and closer over the course of the next twenty minutes. As it surrounded me closely, I could reach out my luminous arm and submerge it in this 'light of death' up to the elbow. I lost my sense of calm and fearlessness and became agitated.

Turning every which way, I found myself unable to escape the field which surrounded me. As the light crept inside my luminous body and towards my heart, I screamed a silent scream 'NOT MY TIME YET' and simultaneously stuck my middle finger up at the light. I mentally invented a surface under my ethereal feet which I pushed off of backwards in a back flip motion, looking backwards and upside down into this blinding white light. All of a sudden, I was back in my body, still flying through the air and I landed in the middle of the highway, almost run down by another car...

a void space without time or dimensionality in the classical sense. i have often wondered if it was xibulba of the mayan cosmological worldview, or a black hole???...

Upon realizing the truth contained in the 'Tibetan Book of the Dead' (which I had not read before having my NDE) I adopted the doctrine of Vajrayana Buddhism, swore a bodhisattvas vow, and dedicated my life to the benefit of All. This is because the experience I had matched the description of the passing through the bardo of death described in the 'Tibetan Book of the Dead'. -- Michael H, FDE

In a short time, I found myself moving through a tunnel. I was scared at first but it was better than the void and I became comfortable there, especially as I approached a light. I was wondering where I was going. I found myself in a space that was very calm and comforting. -- Bob R

I could not see anything, but the sounds that I heard were absolutely horrendous. I could hear what seemed like trillions of people screaming and crying in pain. Even though there were trillions of voices, I could distinguish all of the voices separately in some sort of superimposed, horrendous screech. I wasn't scared, I was absolutely livid. I knew that this was where my fate rested, in this deep dark pit.

Suddenly, in the twinkling of an eye, 150 foot flames manifested all around me. This roaring inferno seemed to be a million times hotter and more intense than the sun. The colors were unlike any I've ever seen in my lifetime. The reds, oranges, yellows and other indescribable colors were so intense that I had trouble recognizing. I tried frantically to escape this fiery pit, but each time I tried to climb the wall, I slipped and landed back at the bottom of the pit. It was as if the 'walls' (boundaries more so than walls, very difficult to explain) were made of some sort of supernatural ice with no friction whatsoever.

Surprisingly, I did not feel the flames of this hellish pit, but was still horrified as I could hear the many screams of the innumerable souls condemned to this seemingly eternal fate. I could see nothing but flames surrounding me. I cried out in horror as the scene switched to a disturbingly hideous and disgusting demon who towered over me, quite similar to a skyscraper next to a human being. I got the impression that this being was made out of pure hate and terror. It struck a terror so deep within me, that I still find it absolutely impossible to describe fifteen years later. It seemed like this being was about to propel my very soul in to oblivion. Even though I realized that I was dead, I felt as though this being could destroy me yet again in a horrendously tragic way, forever.-- Tony M

The second near death experience built upon the first. This time, after I had joined with the light, I noticed how everything came to be. There was nothing in the void. All of a sudden, the light was created from the void. Then I came back to consciousness, lying in my bed, and not knowing how I had got there.

The third experience built upon the other two. I found myself alone in the darkness. I was the one particle of light in the void. I became lonely and bored, so I split myself into two parts. Then I split into four parts, then eight parts, and then sixteen parts. I kept doubling myself, repeatedly, until I became everything and everyone. I came back to consciousness from being passed out in the driveway.

The fourth and final time I had passed out on one side of my body. I was still awake on the other half. I was dead but awake. My vision on one side had been turned to the void. I could think on one side of my brain but was dead on the other side. I physically walked through the door of the house on one side, but on the other side of my body, I felt as if though I had traveled through space and time. I felt that I would never be able to return to my body. Then the live half of me took over the void. I became one again. I was dead but alive at the same time...

In the end it is all meaningless. We as humans have been created in our own image. We are God split into separate beings. -- Kyle W

This was secondary to me wondering where I was, what is this place, where am I, what is going on. I looked behind me for an instant seeing a rectangular white shape not pure or clear white but weathered white very far away perhaps hundreds of miles. It appeared to be door shaped. I had no way of getting to it regardless. Remember, this was just for an instant. -- Larry V

I was immediately bombarded with information that came to me from all directions, through multiple dimensions (as so it seemed). The information rushed at me like the last stages of some type of completion. It was perfecting the harmony in which I was part of now. It was as if my being had become a vacuum, opening up, allowing everything that ever was, or was to ever be, inside. Within what seemed to be a blink of an eye, the information retention was over.

I can only do my best at this point to explain what took place, for words fall miles short of the actual feeling. I will do my best to explain it as this. I now understood everything that ever was, or was ever to be. I didn’t need to think or even question anymore. I was complete; I was what I believe was the highest existence of peace that could ever be, for my mind was silent and I was simply being, and nothing more. I was a part of everything that ever was and with that I had no expectations nor thought, I was existing within everything and had no form or shape, just a complete perfect state of being. -- Burke

It seemed like hours had passed as I was in this void. I must have come to for a moment because my doctor later told me that I sat up in the bed and said 'get me out of here.' I felt as if I was being pulled down and remember hearing screeching like nails being scratched on a chalkboard. My teeth clenched and the fear I felt was overwhelming. In my mind, this was permanent and it was hell.

The next thing I remember is looking up and seeing a cross with great light around it. I never saw any beings or anything, but I heard a voice say 'I am not finished with her yet', talking about me as if I wasn't there. -- Ana R

I remember the feeling of self-reflection being enhanced. The only emotion present was peacefulness and a faint emotion of melancholy. I had all the time in the world. Physically, there were no boundaries around. I felt stable even though I was in midair. There was no floor and no sky. I remember feeling alone and wondered what was happening. It was strange how I had no memory of who I was, where I was, how I got there, who I was related to, and what had happened to me. I entered a realm with no recollection. Is this what birth is like?

I was confused when I could hear faint voices of people that sounded familiar but I could not remember who they were. The language that I was so familiar with was received as pure sounds. I could not understand what was being said. These voices of my parents and aunt were talking to me. Their voices were accompanied with broken beams of colors. I was frustrated with the poor vision and tried hard to make sense of what I was seeing and hearing. I could not decide if I should search for the colors, walk into the haze, and stop to be engulfed with the feeling of 'self' or go towards the bright light. The light could not be seen continuously but its presence was continuously there. The gray haze was blocking the light. It's color was so bright it was literally white and bright. Although I could not go towards the light at the time, I could feel how peaceful, and extremely grand and profound the light was. Again, I felt distracted by the different intermittent connection to life.

Suddenly, a female person stood to my left. I felt like I knew her but I could not remember who she was. Because I could not make sense of whom she was, I did not trust her. I later learned she was my other aunt who had passed away just twelve days ago. She had a darker presence than I did. I felt tamed sadness from her. We communicated telepathically. She instructed me to follow her into a distance void to the left. A part of me wanted to follow her but another part of me couldn't let go of the 'interesting' distracting color beams and sounds coming from life.

I remember my dead aunt rushing me to follow her in a non-rushing manner. She urged me to let go of the colors and sounds because she wanted to show me something. Just then, the strong and non-broken white light washed over me and separated my aunt from me. I felt tingly and loved by an unexplainable rush of white light. Before I had time to make sense of what had happened, I felt myself choke and cry. I began to understand the sound that was foreign to my ears. My vision had corrected itself and the broken color beams joined. My memory slowly returned to me. This, I realized, was when I came back to life.

-- Catherine P

I looked around for the source of the voice. Around? Foolish imagery. There was no 'around'. Out there? Close? Far? Where?

'Because it's not his time,' I heard a man's voice say. -- John C

Then I was with Him and enveloped in such a great light and love it defies description. There I rested in joy, bliss and grace. -- Laura M

Back in the Void I wondered what to do next. I wanted to make sure that this really was the void. I went to the left and then to the right. Then I went up farther, but everywhere I went I was just there. There was no way to reference where I was. I could only see darkness in 360 degrees. As I looked into the darkness I had a feeling that I was glowing but I couldn't be sure. As I looked into the blackness, I would catch glimpses of a blue grid but the blue was so dark that it seemed to blend in with the blackness. I thought of all the places I could go and all the things I could do. As I thought, they appeared before me in little windows or television screens that were almost holographic. The images moved and had life to them.

I started to think of everything I knew about the void and that it was all things potentially, but nothing materially. As I thought that the view exploded around me with little windows in 360 degrees into infinity. I was overwhelmed, so I thought that I would not make a decision right then but wait here until I could make a choice.

I then started to wonder who I was. Was I secondary consciousness (self) or my primary consciousness (my Higher Self). As I asked a question, I heard a voice by my right side. This was roughly where my right ear would be if I had a body. It said, 'Who do you want to be?'

I stepped forward and said immediately. 'I will always be a student of Ramtha the Enlightened One.' As I said that, I noticed that the windows decreased in number from all around me.-- Daphne B

In The Beginning there was Great Divine LOVE in that Void. Consciousness was totally immersed in that Great Divine Love in the Void. Our Consciousness. One Consciousness.

Actually, this state existed before our understanding of The Beginning in a place called Eternity. Also, this IS before The Beginning. Eternity is NOW and always IS. Eternity IS after The End as well, beyond the Alpha and the Omega. The smoky vapor of Duality intentionally clouds our eyes from perceiving Eternity most of the time.

The VOID is not Nothingness. The Void is not empty, nor is it full. It is a spacious state of BEING beyond time and number. The VOID is not a scary place. My limited mind likes to think it is closest described as, "No mind, all heart." It is closest to the heart of the deepest meditation.

There is also something behind the Void, but that is another tale for another time once we have taken full ownership of our latent Divinity. How may we even speak of this Reality beyond the Void if we don't even understand The Void yet? I only suggest it now as a promise of something more. This is our Second Great Promise because we are ever growing. -- Twin Flames Vision

I could not see either end of the tunnel as we were in total darkness, except for the point of intelligent light. It was an out of-body experience.

I was told that one end of this tunnel led to the light and the other into the dark void.

It was explained to me, by this being of light, that this tunnel had two ends. One into the glorious light of God, and the other into the darkness of the void... The destiny of this type of person, by his own actions, would be banishment down into the deepest darkness of this vast infinitely long pit of the tunnel into the dark void I related earlier, remote from the love of God.

I was also shown that there are degrees of punishment in the void. The punishment ranged from a gray depressive atmosphere, progressively down into utter horror, terror, hopelessness, despair and desolation in black darkness... What we call matter is simply a wisp of smoke and I could rush through giant planets, which flashed by as rock, crystal, fire and again into the unimaginable void of the unifiers into the composite white light of SOURCE. -- Alan M

Then it changed. I had reached some sort of barrier and something indicated to me that I had to 'go back.' -- Linda D

I could think clearly, there was just nothing to interact with. No joy, no happiness, no fear, no sadness -- just empty, alone.
-- Bernie N

Then suddenly, I fall. I’m falling deeper and deeper and faster and faster. Everything is going dark. The further I fall, the blacker it gets. I want to stop falling but I can’t control it. I notice that I don’t seem to have a body anymore. How am I falling without a body? Suddenly, the fall stops. I’m in a dark space. It’s blackr than I’ve ever seen before. It is a thick, dark blackness. It is huge and almost endless, but something about it feels smaller than the place I was before. It feels like I’m underneath something but I don’t know what.

It’s silent here too. There’s nobody or nothing else here. The way I feel here is different. There’s no happiness or excitement here. It’s just boring. There isn’t unhappiness either, just indifference. It feels like there’s nothing to learn. That’s a strange way to describe it but that’s how it felt. It was like I was in a place where there was 100% nothing. I would never learn anything there and would never communicate with anyone or anything.

In the distance, I saw a bright light that was getting closer and closer. Either I move up to it or it moves closer to me; either way, it is a lot closer to me now. I saw a regular bull, but it is made of fire. Its size is indescribable and larger than anything I've ever seen. Flames gently bathe its whole body. The bull is walking calmly and purposefully through the darkness. When I see the bull, I suddenly sense a cold, wet feeling, but I don’t know where it’s coming from. The bull turns and looks at me. It looks calm and peaceful. It nods its head at me, almost bowing, and keeps walking. I can sense that it’s really intelligent and friendly but he doesn’t speak. The bull turns its head back again, and with a flick of its neck, it gestures for me to follow him. I start moving behind him. He’s leading me somewhere, but I don’t know where or why.

I’m still feeling completely bored. I don't want to be in this place. 'Bored' might seem like a strange way to describe this period. But it really was as if there was 'nothing' here. It was almost like torture.

Suddenly, I feel something lift me. I hear a single voice say, 'Don’t follow him.' I’m being lifted higher and higher while everything is getting lighter again. I’m back in the white place, the part where everything is. This time there are other things there, organised colours were everywhere within the whiteness. A kaleidoscope would be something slightly similar, but it was more than that. It was so spaced out and complex. White was still the main color but there were thousands of other colors everywhere dotted in mathematical shapes and patterns. Shapes and colors unfolded, grew and glistened; others pulsated and some just floated around.

'You’re home now,' seemingly thousands of voices said to me. All were speaking at the same time as one voice. But it wasn't like I heard them with my ears. It's like they communicated directly with my soul. I replied that I don’t know where I am, even though I did know, I didn’t want to admit to myself where I was.

They replied, 'This is where you came from and this is where you’ll end,' they kept repeating it, again and again. The colors pulsated with their voice. As they spoke, I could feel and see a timeline of the whole of existence. It was like they were showing it to me. I could see everything, not just our galaxy. I saw the whole universe. I could see the big bang. Although it wasn’t a bang, it was more like a slow drip. It was like a material being stretched and slowly a hole formed in the middle of it. We are in that gap. I begin to understand it was this ‘god/energy’ place turning itself into existence. It made a rule; as if it made a game and set wheels in motion. Everything started from a small point and grew from there slowly. The universe is a thing that created itself and is watching itself. We’re all part of it. This ‘place/thing/existence’ that created us and is us, doesn’t know where life will lead. That is what it enjoys.

The voices tell me to let go. They explain that they think I’m still clinging onto myself as a human. I say I’m not ready to join them yet. They tell me that I’m being irrational, because I am them. They say it’s time to come home. They assure me that it will only be temporary because energy always needs to be reborn over and over again. I’ll transform into something else one day.
Suddenly a flash of memories hits me. I remember myself as a thousand different insects all at once. I remember another time where I was being eaten by something. I remember being born and being here before. I tell them I understand, but I still haven’t finished my life as a human yet. I still have a lot to learn, a lot to see, and I want to see the people I love again and let them know how much I care about them. The ‘existence/energy’ tells me that I can still see them. They say they’ll show me. They tell me to reach out. Even though I have no body, I reach out somehow. I can’t see anything reaching, I can just sense that I am reaching. Suddenly the whiteness feels like it’s fusing with me. It’s so warm, it’s flowing through me and I’m merging with it. The thousands of voices tell me that this is energy, this is what everything in existence is made from, and that it flows constantly through everything. They explain that because this flows through everything, it means that everything and everyone is connected. They say that this bright, white energy even exists in the air, in the space between things, and in space itself. Even in places where we see nothing, it’s filled with energy.

They say that because I am now returned to the source energy, I can now flow through anywhere I want. They show me and I visit my loved ones, but I don’t actually see them, I just feel them. The life-force then shows me worlds and places I’ve never imagined, so far away from earth where other life exists and some places that are just completely empty.
They can sense how I’m feeling. They continue to tell me to let go of myself as a person. That I am just a form that their energy has taken and now it’s time to be absorbed back into the energy. I hear the voices say, 'Look, we’ll show you'. Suddenly I can feel that I’m back in my human body, but I’m viewing it from inside my brain. I’m in the very middle of my brain and I’m infinitely small, surrounded by millions of honeycomb-like shapes. I was divided by large chasms and separated into different areas. I can see my brain working. There are only three colours here: Red, Yellow and White. Each individual honeycomb, what I assumed to be cells, is flashing between the colors depending on when it’s being used.

The energy introduces me to my brain. It turns out that my brain isn’t just one thing, it was as if it were segmented into several different areas. They showed me where my personality was kept. I saw how I was nothing but a bunch of memories and training that made me think I was a human. My brain then said ‘watch’ as I moved to a different area of it. I saw pulses of electricity moving from my brain to my heart; it seemed so simple, like a machine. It seemed especially simple compared to the endless universe I had seen before.

The energy explained to me that my body was just a machine. My personality was just imaginary and shaped by the things I’ve seen. They said the only reason I exist is to see things and to experience life. They said all the things I see and experience are sent back out into the universe. They said that the universe is always learning, by watching itself through all of our eyes. They also told me that humans are no different than animals, and that they were created equally. The universe wanted to create as many different experiences as it could, and that’s why there are so many variations in life-forms and species.
They said that there is no ‘life-span’ or plan. That I should understand that I’ve lived and that’s all I needed to do. They explained that it doesn’t matter when you die or how. They explained how life isn’t a competition to stay alive the longest. If I were to die, then I shouldn’t worry that I didn’t last long. I will never truly die, I will just change. It will only be my body that dies.

As they were saying this I could feel heavy vibrations beginning in my toes and then moving up through my body. It was as if my body was made up of thousands of grains of sand and they were all vibrating at different frequencies. I could feel myself peeling from my body. It was slowly, like Velcro being torn from fabric, or chicken meat being pulled from the bone. I was now two things, a body and an ‘existence’. In my body, I could feel all of my muscles relaxing, my shoulders fell back, and my head fell back. I felt my jaw flap open, my tongue relaxed and I heard a ‘crunch’. Suddenly, I didn’t weigh anything because I was freeing myself. I had completely left my body behind. My body wasn’t mine any more because I wasn’t in it any more. I had freed myself and joined them like they asked. I finally accepted what was happening. The honeycombs disappeared and I’m not in my brain any more. I’m with ‘them’ somewhere where we all began. The thousand voices break into conversation, telling me stories, reciting poems, singing, and telling me about history and about the future. Instead of being slow and calm it feels like everything is happening quickly now. It’s almost too much to comprehend. I suddenly feel sad again. Again, I tell them I don’t want to be there. I want to learn more as a person. They ask ‘Why?’ as if I had just told them the most stupid thing they’ve heard. I don’t answer them. They then explain that they have some people there that I know.

I looked up. Standing above me, almost like a giant, is a lady I know who died recently. She looks down at me and repeats everything that I have just been told, but without moving her mouth. She says how we are all energy, how everything is connected, and how I shouldn’t be afraid. She says that nobody wants to be here but we all must go eventually. She said that she will take care of me so I shouldn’t feel sad or worried.

I asked her, 'But if you’re energy now, then how come I can see you? Why do you still look like a human? Why haven’t you turned into another creature on a planet somewhere?' She doesn’t directly answer my question. Instead she explains that the universe is a huge place and that there’s so much energy around; even more than can fit in the universe. She tells me that it can take millions of years until it’s your turn to return to into a ‘Being’ again, but that it doesn’t matter because you can’t feel time when you’re energy.

I explain one more time that I’m not ready for that yet. She replies something along the lines of, 'Then you better do something about it'. I suddenly find myself jolting up in bed with my throat filled with vomit....

I felt like i knew everything. But there was no purpose. And that was fine. Learning is the only reason for existence, but that in itself had no purpose. Consider life as an experiment. Whatever created it doesn't know what the result is. It doesn't care too much and just wants to see what happens...

l learned that our purpose is simply to exist and to live. The universe is always learning about itself and observing life through our eyes. It likes to learn. And it's learning all of the time through us. All we are meant to do is live and learn. There is no right and wrong. By simply being true to ourselves and living life, we are fulfilling our purpose...

I was told that life, as we know it, is an illusion. We are made of energy and will continue to exist long after our physical bodies. -- Aaron M

It was a void, and at the end of it a light, I had no sensation of a tunnel, I just perceived the void...
Suddenly I was floating in the void, everything was darkness and silence, but I felt that I was moving in some direction, feeling an
immense tranquility and ease, also enormous happiness, almost indescribable, but I had no body, all I could see was darkness. Then I started to see a far distant light and my happiness and placidness went on growing. As I approached the light, I could see that it came from a door, or a frame without a door, as if a white rectangle were drawn on a black card. The light, which shone from this door, bears no comparison even with the light of a thousand stars together, the luminosity was indescribable, but incredibly, it did not harm the eyes. When I was near the door, I saw a woman, outside in the void, with hair down to her waist. She wore a white gown to the ankles and beckoned me with her left hand, gesturing for me to approach her. This was all happening as if in slow motion, very slowly. The brightness was such that I could only make out her form and her transparent dress. I fervently desired to reach her so we could cross the threshold together; as this is, what I understood was going to happen.

Suddenly, I woke up on the ground with my friends calling to me in desperation... -- Alfredo

Then, there was my deceased grandparents at my side. They were perfect and so was everything about the world. I was calmed immediately. They began to lead me through a void towards a light. I was not happy at all to be going the direction they wanted me to go. Closer to the light someone asked me if I wanted to go back. I knew I did and was going to go back. -- Glenna A

amused, as though privy to a great Cosmic Insight - death was not to be feared, it was a transition to something wonderful beyond life. In my experience, a huge luminous and flaming Question Mark dominated my subconscious and illuminated a vast black void - the Eternal Question about to be answered, and I had at that moment forward an absolute awareness that what we fear the most in life, 'Death', is to be feared the least - we make such an unnecessary fuss over it. My experience was marked by the distinct sound of universal joyous laughter that reverberated everywhere about me - surrounding me - flowing through me, an outpouring of such wondrous bliss and happiness, and I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of Great Love - the answer to my lifelong question, always, 'What is our reason for living and existing in the first place?' The Answer from this Cosmic Source was 'To love unconditionally - to experience it, to express it, to share it!'

Experiencing and expressing Great Love is the key to everything in our lives. -- Debbie P

Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no time, and I wasn't still here on earth. I was in a warm, dark void - almost like a movie theater! -- Cynthia DM

I remember clearly though initially being in a very big void of darkness. There was some danger or negative aspects/beings/entities involved but I did not remember seeing or experiencing them just being aware of them. Then I moved quickly to a warm and absolute feeling of love and light. On the way through to it I was stopped. Some beings both what seemed like beings of light and love, and some family members who had passed away were in a semi-circle and I stopped just before them. They looked (the family members) as they did on earth but where not material and all had much light, calmness and serenity about them. I saw my Aunty who died at age seven one year before I was born. I described to family members the exact clothes, and certain jewelry she had on the day she died, which was confirmed. It was impossible to have this information without seeing it. They seemed to be welcoming me. The beings of light with them seemed not to have ever been in a material body. They could be described as angels. However, they had no wings but I can understand where that comes from in history. The love radiating from their hearts was so powerful and large it surrounded their upper body almost like wings.

This bit is a bit blurred. I seemed to leave them but I don't remember moving, before coming back to them later. I went to the light, which was above them, and it was just pure unconditional love and acceptance. As I moved towards it I felt no fear but do remember saying/thinking that I was sorry for anything wrong I had done in life. At that time, I then experienced a partial life review...

Those negative beings seemed to come from the earth and go down away from the light, I was aware of them going to a void/darkness/suffering or perpetual round and round in circles in their experiences/mind of the negative record player almost habits of thoughts and feelings. I was aware of them going somewhere like hell, but I was not allowed to remember it or it has been blocked from my memory. The love and light didn't want them to experience that, and was doing all it could to let them come to it. But they could not or would not accept or see it. It was obvious they were creating this experience, not a separate devil or God punishing them. Maybe their life review filled them with so much remorse they had to punish themselves. Maybe in the life review they did not feel any remorse and just felt anger at when others had felt good in their suffering or downfall. -- Justin U

we went walking. The further we walked the brighter the light became, and he did, too. He carried me over a void place, and I was given to understand that it was hell, because there was no God there at all. It was a featureless plane that the person carried me through, all the while glowing brighter and brighter and the road we were on glowed brighter and brighter as well. Finally, we were out of the void spot and the person was so bright I couldn't look at him anymore. He carried me until we reached an area that looked like to me three windows onto heaven. There I was given to understand my place wasn't there yet, and I had to go back to my body. -- Katie B

Slowly I felt my body lifting away and in that moment, travelled through a starry tunnel/portal quickly, there I stopped floating, in what was a kind of a void. I felt not one presence but several, maybe three or four and a feeling that in the void there, even my brother, Terry, who died one year prior at age twenty-nine was there somehow. It was so peaceful, as if floating, like in that space just before falling asleep, tranquil, yet aware at the same time. These presences said in a language that had no words, it wasn't my time yet, there was still much for me to do. My brother had said that when he died he did choose to go when asked, but for me I wasn't going yet. It just was not my time...
At the end of the tunnel it opened into the void, into the vastness, and I just floated on into it. No sense of what would happen, only that I found myself there. I felt my own spirit rise, for lack of a better way to describe it. -- Bonnie G

I was in a dark void or space like in the universe without the stars in the distance was a light no definite shape similar to a puddle of spilled water.

The light was pulsating as if alive, I began to move toward the light, was being drawn, all of a sudden it was like I was moving at the speed of light.

The light was like a boundary but it was transparent, I passed through into the light: it is hard for me to find the words to describe the feelings one encounters. I was blinded by the light unable to see anything but the light did not hurt your eyes. It was like looking into the sun a million times over a pure white light. I felt warm, safe, peaceful, and in the presence of pure unconditional love. It was like the light was absorbing me, my life was being shown before me, I got emotional, maybe I cried, I was ashamed, but I felt the love and knew everything was alright. I know I was in the presence of God...
A bright light like a star in a dark void just one star as I was drawn closer it was pulsating like breathing it was alive. As I neared the light it grew and encompassed everything it had to be a boundary between light and dark. -- Lloyd P

I saw blackness; not just the blackness that you see when you start to doze off, but a void-darkness. I was thinking this is not sleep. Then I started realizing that this is amazing; I felt really peaceful. Unfortunately, I don't really know what happened next. -- Siri L

would follow. I tried to move my arms and touch my face, but I had no arms or hands to do so. I tried repeatedly, attempting to use any part of my body, but I seemed to no longer have a body. I became enraged and soon afterward, I could feel other beings in my same state, and they were angry too. I could feel them searching for a place to go, and that they were envious of anyone with a body. I thought to myself that this is hell, and I said to whoever it was that was watching me that I didn't want to be like that.

Suddenly, I could feel that I was curled up in a fetal position and I could see a tunnel with a light at the end. I somehow knew I was in a woman's vagina, about to be born. I also somehow was told by the one watching me that I will forget everything and learn it all over again, and that there was no guaranty that I will be ok. I thought to myself, this is what it must be like for angels who don't have any experience. They're like children and could easily be fooled, or hurt. I refused, and suddenly another being took my place in the womb. Then I saw children laughing and playing, and teenagers talking with each other, and young people going through experiences and learning from them. I saw them becoming old and calming down from their worries and finding peace, which made them happy. I said, 'This is what I want; a life in a human body with the ability to taste, touch and feel, smell, and see, and especially the knowledge between good and bad. I want to live and to have an advantage over the other two states of being.'

Then I awoke in the hospital. -- David A

The next thing I recall is a sensation of floating in a void in a grey like substance. I experienced incredible peace and the absolute absence of any kind of fear. -- Terry M

I am unconscious again in darkness, and then I awaken in a large 'void' gray area. Muted light seems to be coming from above me, but there is no source. I am floating above other people, in an upright position. There are people above me and below me, vertically, and as I look directionally right down the row of people, there seem to be thousands upon thousands in the same formation. We are all silent. At the moment of awakening, there seems to be a feeling of something being pulled back or 'peeled' from my eyes and face. I reach down to touch the person below me and to my left. She has red hair. I want to ask her where I am. As I reach down, I am called.

At first, the man in front of me is approximately thirty feet away from me. He appears to be flooded with white light in a white suit, bald, with extremely white teeth. He floats me out of formation, then in front of him. He is not in a white suit, but he is 'glowing'. Inner light is flowing out all round him. He has extremely blue eyes. I am so happy to see him! I know him and he knows me. I cannot recollect who he is now. I hug him and tell him I miss him. He tells me it is not my time. I disagree! I see a line of people going through a dark tear in the fabric of the void and a man stares at me. In fact, there are other people milling about on the 'floor' who have very puzzled looks on their faces, which are slightly blurred to me. I am puzzled too. I want to go where the other people are going, but again, I am told it is not my time. I point again, to where the people are going. The man points to the upper right corner of the void and I am suddenly back in my body. -- Raina J

I could see a hard to describe 'void' because I could 'see'. I saw no light, no deceased people (known or unknown). I somehow 'received' the understanding (the message? It was not a voice.) That if I died right there and then, my eight month old son would be okay and that my parents would be okay in the long run. I had the certainty that the world (my world) would be okay without me. That my son would grow up healthy and well (he did), and that my parents would survive the pain of my loss. I accepted dying and was willing to let myself go (that's when I felt a weight lift). -- Karina M

I was in this void of darkness and without hope, and I spoke. I said, 'Where am I?' I could hear the words. A great love came down, saved me, and lifted me up; I was going to perish; I was in deep, deep trouble. All I had to do was except it; in your wildest imagine you cannot believe how good Jesus is. He spoke and said to my ears, 'Do you believe I created the universe?' and I said, 'Yes'.
-- Steven C

ry strong awareness of only myself - as though I was watching myself from a close distance. My body was perfect, undamaged. I was overwhelmed by the total aloneness and had but one thought, 'This dark place I am in cannot be heaven and, therefore, I must get out.' Since my consciousness and body had been separated, I could not move my body. All that was me, was this very powerful consciousness that could will things to happen. At that moment, I awakened not knowing where I was or what had happened...
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time did not pass. There was nothingness. Only my body and my consciousness, which were separated. And yet, I was not helpless. My consciousness had more power than my body. My consciousness saved my body from floating in this void. -- Karen A

There was nothing, a huge void of nothing, except black. The Being was there in the darkness, the Being was light. Also it was as if a bright light was being shone on my closed eyes, when I looked, I saw the Being of light. -- Michelle M

When I passed out (I can't say whether I stopped breathing or not) I saw only darkness. Absolute darkness, and from a basic knowledge of different cultures, I quickly realized that it was the ‘void,’ or the ‘abyss.’ As I came to that conclusion, several hooded beings of an ethereal-looking faded sepia color appeared. There were at least three or four of them on my left side and I believe the same amount on my right. For some reason I focused more on the beings on the right side. (When they came to me at first, my rational thoughts quickly told me that these were just my friends. I thought that they had realized I had passed out and were surrounding me. However, it turned out not to be them.) The beings stood around me, paused a bit, and then began to lift me up into a tunnel of light.

At first, I felt content and sufficiently warm in this void-darkness. When I realized what was going on, I began to yell and tried to shake my way out of it. However, I found I could not yell. There was just silence. It seemed to me that I had no body, but the only things I could see were things that were right in front of me, and I had no idea whether my body was with me. (Later I concluded that my soul had left my body, yet there is nothing to confirm that.)

Once I made it through the light tunnel, I came to, lying on the ground on my back, moaning and rolling around on the grass...
I heard nothing. Sound did not exist wherever I was. I could only see what was in my view. The void-darkness, the beings on the right of me, and the tunnel of light above me...

I didn't feel loneliness or any negative nor positive emotions, either. I felt in balance between the two...
Everything about the universe I felt balanced. I can't say I felt absolute happiness or absolute sorrow. I felt as if I were standing right in the middle of the scale that runs between positive and negative energies and all that they encompass.
-- Trevor O

I observed my new reality with tranquility. Slowly I looked around and below me, I saw a vast, endless blackness. Like a void or black hole, I was irresistibly drawn toward the darkness. Gradually, I felt myself sinking toward it. I thought, without fear or any emotional reaction, 'Isn't that strange?' I had been so afraid I was going to be judged and sent to either heaven or hell. But it appeared I would simply disappear into the dark nothingness. As even my new awareness waned, I yielded to the heaviness overtaking me as darkness filled my mind. My vision became obscured as I began to merge into the void of blackness.

Offering no resistance, I released my hold on any remaining shred of consciousness and personal identity. At the very moment, I felt the last of me disappearing into nothingness. A powerful, energetic force that swooped beneath and lifted me, carrying me upward, suddenly buffeted me.

Barely conscious, my only awareness was a sensation of rising. I seemed to be traveling upward at an unimaginable speed. A clean sensation of wind rushed over my face and body with tremendous force and yet there was no discomfort. Vast distances seemed to fly by me. The higher I rose, the more my head cleared. I became aware of a deep sense of peace and warmth that permeated my senses. Confused, because the energy that had enveloped me had a definite presence, I tried to see what was happening and who was carrying me; who or what cared so deeply for me? I felt peaceful and loved immeasurably. I knew I was in the arms of a being who cherished me with perfect love and carried me from the dark void into a new reality.

As my mind cleared, scoured of the remnants of mortal, past associations, I was finally able to open my being fully to spirit and my vision cleared.

With the eyes of my soul body, I looked to see what held me in such love and I beheld a radiant, Spirit being, so magnificent and full of love that I knew I would never again feel the sense of loss. I have no way of explaining how, but I knew the Spirit was Christ. It was not a belief, perception or understanding, but my recognition of Christ came from my new perspective of spirit.

I did not see the Spirit as I had seen Jesus of Nazareth depicted in paintings, but the innate knowing of my heart remembered and acknowledged Christ. The radiant Spirit was Christ, the manifestation and expression of pure love. Because of my Christian education, I knew no other name to call what I felt as I looked at him.

Others might have called him Buddha, or Yahweh, or Great Spirit in the Sky, but the naming did not matter, only the recognition of absolute love and truth was important. Safe in the gentle yet powerful embrace of his love, I rested, secure that everything was okay, exactly as it was supposed to be.

Ascending ever farther, I lifted my eyes to see a great light in the vast distance. With Christ as my guide, I rapidly approached the light. Ecstasy filled my soul as I looked at the radiance, many-fold brighter than a sun.

The light was everywhere and everything, the brightest I had ever seen and dazzling beyond description. Brilliant enough to blind or burn, yet I was not harmed.-- Linda S

When I first left my body, the first time was vivid; I saw myself leaving and did not care. There was a void for just a little bit, then, I could see myself going towards heaven. It surprised that I could see myself going there. It was as if I was walking, but my legs were not moving. I was floating. I was wearing a white gown but when I reached where I was going, I come upon at least eight people sitting in chairs in half horseshoe shape. The person in the middle had a chair that was taller than the others were. They told me it was not my time and had to go back. I did not want to go back. -- Karol S

The next thing I remember is suddenly being completely awake. I felt as if I were floating on my back. My eyes seemed to be open, but I could not see my body even though it felt as if I still had one. I was in an endless black void or space. There was nothing to see. Even though it was totally black, it wasn't dark. In other words, if there had been something to see, I would have been able to see it. It was just very empty.

I remember thinking, 'This is weird,' but I wasn't afraid. Instead, I was completely relaxed and pain free. I felt filled with love and peace, as if I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I also noticed that my thoughts were extremely clear, very unlike my usual self.

I wasn't floating long before I noticed a field of stars below me. They formed a sort of curtain that divided where I was from somewhere else. I knew I would be able to go to them if I just thought about doing it, but right after I had that thought, a male voice spoke to me in my head. He told me that if I went past the stars I wouldn't be able to come back.

I remember thinking, 'I'm not sure I want to go back, it's so wonderful here.' And that was it. The next thing I remember is feeling my aching body and hearing my husband calling my name. The first thing I said upon waking was, 'I went somewhere.' -- Jennifer B

I found myself floating in a huge bright void with the most incredible music, yet it was completely silent. It felt peaceful. There was no fear. I felt love. I felt I had to come back. I awoke suddenly and found myself on the floor with my mother giving me the kiss of life. I was happy, yet also sad when I returned.-- Jane A

I looked down at my body. I felt no weight as I floated above myself. A black circle appeared; at first, it was small and then it grew larger. I could pass beside it, around it, and behind it, yet it looked the same. Then I entered the black circle that turned into a tunnel with a light at the end. There was no pain. The light was comforting, entirely comforting and welcoming. I went toward it. Around me were darkness and a void. It was kind of like a tunnel. I was heading for the light when I heard my sister call my name. Her voice in that tunnel was more than a voice. Her voice was like lightening in a night sky as it passed through the tunnel and then past by me as it went on to the light. Then I heard another voice say, 'Go back. It's not time.' I screamed, 'No!' I didn't want to go back. Then I felt something or someone grab my legs and drag me backward away from the light. On being dragged backward, I became aware of other beings in the dark around me. They were grabbing at me but did not grasp me. I was dragged backward, out of the same black circle that I had entered. I turned and saw my body. -- Goldie T

All I remember for the longest time was a black void. I heard nothing, saw nothing and felt nothing. Then I was in a tunnel made of stone. The tunnel was lit but I could not see any end to it. I was stationery in the tunnel but I was not touching the tunnel. The following things happened to me as soon as I was in the tunnel. I could see, I had no pain whatsoever (with a temperature of 106/107 you are in pain) and the greatest feeling of peace and contentment came over me. This feeling is very difficult to explain. There are no adjectives to adequately define this unforgettable feeling. It was all encompassing. Nothing in this world is like it!! Just as this feeling came over me, I started to move and realized that this tunnel had an end.

At the end of the tunnel was the brightest white light that I have ever seen!! When you looked at it, the light did not hurt you like our sun would. I knew that when I touched that light that I was going to die. The light was God. I was not afraid of going there. Then as I was moving towards the light, I realized that I would be leaving my mother and sister with my alcoholic father. I was not going to go. I was going to protect my mother and my sister. The harder I fought not to go the faster I was moving. I fought not to go with every ounce of strength in my being!!! As I touched the light... I was back in the hospital bed.-- Frank P

I remember walking up to the grocery store where it happened then collapsed and then absolutely nothing. I was in a complete and utter void. Later, I remember being in the emergency room in the hospital and seeing myself from a third perspective. I could see them moving me from the gurney to the operating table. I could hear them saying, 'Don't leave us Simon. Don't leave us,' and them working frantically to resuscitate me. -- Simon J

sense that I cannot explain. Have never yet felt that feeling. When I finally woke up over four hours had past and I was being told that during that time I didn't know where I was, who I was or what the date was. -- Evan K

During this time, I felt just an empty blackness; there was no pain or memories or anything. It was just a continuous black void.
-- Brooke S

me in and lance it when, suddenly, I was in an immense black, yet clear as glass, void. Wondering where I was, but not frightened.

I peered into the darkness and in the distance saw a tiny light that flickered and blinked like an eye. As I watched, it began to come toward me, though I might have been going toward it, I'm not sure. As I watched, it came closer and when it was very close. I saw that the light was coming from inside a large pink Lotus. The petals were opening to reveal more and more light. Curious, I reached out to touch it and instantly I was inside it. An exquisite overwhelming feeling of love poured through me. It was so intense I was afraid I wouldn't be able to bear it. I was feeling safe and loved for the first time in my life. Somehow, I knew that this was God and that I was Home. -- Lillian K

The moment my heart stopped the void became deeper and deeper, until it felt like it expanded forever. I sensed that the darkness was about to part and reveal a marvelous light. Then I felt the presence of my deceased grandfather. I don't remember everything that was said, but basically it was revealed that I could move on if I wanted to, but once I reached the light I would not be able to return to my body. He did not want my life to end though, because I still had some important lessons to be learned in this lifetime. He said that after I learned what I needed to about love that it would be my time to go...
I felt like the void I was in was like a thick mist and it was about to part, just like curtains on a stage, and reveal a bright light, but I was stopped from passing through...
My Grandfather stopped me from moving through the void into the light. I sensed that if I reached the light I would not be able to come back into my body. -- Cate

th a yellow/gold aura. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace; I cannot find another word that fits better. Kind of like everything has been taken care of and you do not do anything but go along for the ride. There were no lights but my aura. No angels, stairways, friends, no sound at all, absolutely nothing to the point of fear only with peace. I know strange. Nothing but this black space with me right in the middle.

I remember thinking where am I and right when I did (keep in mind this void also had the feeling of no time) it is hard to put into words. I half-way woke up and caught a blur of a female and what appeared to be the inside of an ambulance. Then everything went dark again until I woke up in the intensive care unit and found out what had happened. -- Misty G

There was a brief darkness, a sensation of going through a dark void of some sort then I was in another place. I saw dogs playing in a grass-covered field and I was with them. I have always loved dogs. I think they were dogs that I once had as an adult or child. I'm a minister and I don't really believe 'all dogs go to heaven' but there they were!

Then I was in a different place. It was bright or red? Then there was an extremely bright light, like a vertical column of light. But it was much more than light, like a pillar of pure energy. It was sparking, sparkling, and much, much brighter and whiter than any sun. I floated over near it. I don't know if I wanted to or not, but I was about 6 inches from it. It was not hot or cold, just pure white energy. I was face-to-face with whatever this was. I took it to be the pure divine presence of God. I felt if I touched it that would NOT BE GOOD. But I felt total peace and that God was going to take care of everything, take care of me, and take care of my family. -- Robert J

T here were doors sliding in front of me each door representing a stage of my past life since childhood and one door representing the present day. Somehow, I knew I had to enter the right door in the limited time I had, as after that all the doors would close never to open again leaving me all alone in the dark void forever. I also knew that if I entered the wrong door the memories from that stage of my life until today would be erased. I started fearing, not death, but isolation or never being able to see my two sons and husband again or even not recognizing them after I wake up. I felt time is slipping out of my hands and I decided that I'd rather enter the wrong door than stay back. In my head, I just thought of GOD and put my foot forward to enter the speeding doors. At that very moment, I felt the anesthetist slapping my cheeks and calling my name and the surgeon says, 'She is back.'-- Mandip

I was in a void-like place, watching a silent but colorful, 'film-strip' like, event of past occasions of my life. This void-like place was black and white, like that of an old TV. But, the pictures were colorful and very specific. One event was of me, as a young child, pushing a younger sister off a tricycle. This was like a running 'film-strip', it did not pause, and it just kept moving. The events were of times I had hurt someone's feelings. I didn't feel judged, but I was made aware, of how I had affected others.

Next, I was in the presence of who I believe to be Jesus. I did not visually see Him, but knew very clearly that He was present.

I was in a void-like place with Him, it was a bit like the beautiful, billowy clouds you see when in an airplane, but a black (or gray) and white version of that sight. -- Annmarie F

I certainly did not experience a divine entity, only void. There was no light, no comforting presence or sense of meaning or journey or afterlife. I only had the sense I was going from being something to being nothing... There was only darkness, and a sense that I was a disembodied presence that had left my body. However, it did not feel as though I was entering a new realm of any kind, only pure void all around me -- Ryan M

I felt I was in a dark area, like a void, but somehow, even though I could not see anything I knew there were limits to this area: borders? Walls? There were others there too. I had a sense of myself, floating, but not having control of the movement, others seemed to know how, and I could sense them. There was the sound of a bell, every now and then; it would toll singly, not regularly.

I tried to work out what was happening, then a female voice said, 'You just got here; don't know how to move yet.' Even though I did not ask what the bell was, I was told every time someone died it rung. It was then that I got worried. I knew I was dead, I did not like the dark, was I going to be there always? I then saw my life, my very short and unimpressive life, I did not feel proud of it, and it felt somewhat wasted. This was followed by a list of my past ancestors, very long all written on single file. I read my father's name on the deceased side. I was confused; he was alive at that time: he died later that year. Following my father's name there was a dividing line where my descendants' names started, this part of the list was much shorter and odd as I had not had any children.

I then saw a light, and I felt I was going through to a field from the ground up. This was light itself, no beginning or end, it was not blinding, just light, it permeated everything, and it was quiet, peaceful. -- Beata M

I didn't look at myself on the bed; I knew right away that I had died. It was pitch black, like a total void, and I felt wonderful. I felt so good. I had no pain. I felt light, and like I had no body. I knew God, or some higher power was there. I knew that He held the key to my going back to Earth. I didn't talk to God, and He didn't talk to me, it was all emotions. I insisted I return, demanded actually, because I am a single parent of four children, and they needed me. -- Priscilla O

I found myself in a black void. The difference was flashes of vivid light bars. I felt myself walking on them, from one to another always moving forward. The colors were magenta, turquoise blue, fuchsia, lemon yellow and iridescent orange and purple. I finally woke up in the surgical room still talking. I knew I lost some time. -- Gwen

Without any awareness of time, I found myself in a void. There was really NOTHING: no fear, no danger, and nothing but the distinct thought that I was not 'in Kansas anymore.' I was aware that there was a decision to be made. My initial impression was this decision was that of God, but as I pondered the possibility of not reaching adulthood it really became my decision. -- Bart F

I sensed that I was in a black void, probably confined in a large clear tunnel, moving very slowly along as one would in outer space weightlessness. I sensed there were others along with me in some sense, but did not see or communicate with them. At the extreme end of the tunnel, or far down the tunnel, was an extremely bright light. I felt like I was moving toward it. It was like the light of a train, maybe from miles away. I felt drawn toward it and wanted to go to the light...
I went through a fairly large, clear tunnel, and through a black void. I had the sense I could 'see' through it. Perhaps a clear pipeline would be a better description...
Like the light of a faraway, oncoming train at night. But it radiated more than just light because I felt peace, love, and well-being coming from it. -- Les T

While drowning at the age of 3 in Africa, the feelings of panic and pain of the lungs filling with water, was followed by a sensation of a pleasant void and being 'carried'. Immediately after this drowning, I felt the painful sensation of having to live, yet feeling lucky and 'chosen.' -- Benjamin F

Instantly, I was in a dark tunnel or void in space, clutching onto the sides of the stretcher.-- Judy G

I decided to bite an electrical extension cord. What happened after that was totally awesome. The first thing I saw or noticed I was in a void are a huge bubble with black and orange jagged lines, I remember looking all around up, down, all around, and that's all I could see. From that I was yanked from the lines by like a umbilical cord into outer space that pulled me into a huge brain looking center, I would say heaven's emergency room. I remember lying in a room with two hospital beds. I remember a lady, how she looked like us with bigger black eyes. I remember right away she knew I wasn't supposed to be there (this was communicated to me without her saying a word I guess basically mental that I totally understood) and I was sent back in a flash. -- Eric

I was totally conscious, but didn't know where I was, totally void of light yet I could still see - I was aware of myself and I don't remember having a body, just a consciousness. I looked around or at the darkness; it was right in front of me and far away. Then it was like looking at a black canvass with no beginning or end and it was silent, at first. Then sounds I really can't explain, I became aware of presences, coupled with the darkness becoming textured and streaked with ashen grays and a burning, scraping sound. I heard screaming and crying. I never saw what was causing it but with each streak I became more terrified and knew I wasn't in a good place, and whatever was trying to come 'through' the darkness, meant to do me harm. I felt like I was surrounded by the darkness but not IN the darkness yet. I know that I realized I wanted to leave and never be here again!

I believe that I was at the Devil's doorstep. I think I was given a brief look at where my current path was leading me and that I was literally smacked in the head by GOD himself to get my attention and get back on the right path...
Again, it was like I was surrounded by the darkness, but I could see as if there was light. This darkness wasn't an absence of light it was more of, I don't know, it wasn't the dark of night that one is different...
Now that I think about it, it was like I could see everywhere, 360 degrees but didn't have to turn to look. It all looked like that textured darkness and as I have been recalling all of this, I felt as if maybe I was upside down and right side up at the same time. The ability to see in total darkness and the only colors were the 'black' of the darkness and the shades of grey streaks, Ash is the best description. -- John D

I was like in a huge void, with spots of light like stars around. Somehow, I felt like I was between the Earth and the Moon. I felt this overwhelming presence next to me on my right side, like the Moon, but it was an intelligence. It radiated love, far beyond anything I had dreamed or heard of before, sort of like a father. There was no image. He made me feel sad that I had ended up in that condition, like a scolded child, but in a loving way. I felt other beings nearby, but no shapes or faces. There was an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment all around me. Like the doctor said on the program tonight (02/25/2003), it was like being home. The being next to me had me look at myself lying on the hospital bed through this 'tube of light' (now it's a cliché). He asked me if I wanted to return to that body again and it took me a while to decide. -- Jim C

Although unconscious, I somehow knew what was going on and felt myself 'leaving', only to find myself in a dark void. I was convinced I had died, wondering where the light was that I had heard about and totally lost as to what to do next. I felt as though I was floating in this void in a confused but very peaceful and serene state, almost happy to be there and anxious to find my way to 'the other side'. I remember calling out for help 'mentally' and a figure appeared. I knew this to be my father who had passed on four years earlier. I remember wondering why he was the one who came and not my mother who had died in 1964 from a cerebral hemorrhage. She had told me a year before she died that when she left (somehow she knew from a vision or something that she would die sometime around her birthday) she would always be there for me.

I asked my father why there was no light or tunnel, and if he was sent to guide me on my future journey 'across'. I felt sad and angry when he told me that he had come to send me back to the land of the living. When I objected strongly he told me that 'I still had more to do' and that my 'job on Earth was not yet finished'. -- Andrew P

Then I realized that there is a void under me as well because I was not standing on anything. I mean the feeling we have on Earth that there is always something under your feet. That feeling was not there. Then I saw a very beautiful light that was shining on me even though it was far away from me. My surroundings and environment were still dark. In a strange way I received this understanding that everything will be all right. Suddenly, I opened my eyes and saw that I was on a hospital bed. -- Samieh Y

It wasn't a tunnel; it was just a black void with no floor or ceiling or walls. I was just floating with this weird white fence like a barrier across the void. I wasn't standing on an actual base or floor. Before that, was the sea, or a watery, very wavy dense mist on which the dinghy was floating. -- Geoff B

The next thing I remember is being in a void. Then all around me almost as if I were one with them, were colors. More than are here on earth and a feeling of peace. I felt like I was surrounded by love, comfort and peace. I also heard music but not like we hear it here. It seemed as one with the colors. I felt like I understood this all and wanted to stay. Then a sad feeling and I opened my eyes to my friends staring with very worried looks on their faces. -- Kay M

I got brave and peeked through eyelashes to see a light growing closer. Not really a tunnel so much as a dark void, not small or confined.

At the bright light, there was an edge, the motion stopped and I reached into the light, my eyes quickly grew accustomed to the brightness and I could see a big long grassy field... -- TJ

My own identity appeared to also be composed of light, I noticed that my light had the ability to reach anywhere I wanted, and whatever beam of light consciousness I chose to direct my attention to, I could instantly travel down. I did this and found myself in a floral shop. What I found extremely fascinating was that I was able to experience all of the flowers simultaneously, and that no matter where I went I was always at the center of everything! -- Barry W

I was outside the world and all its troubles but I was also still lying in there on the bed. I saw the tree of life and it's essence was pouring into the world. Instead of being claimed and floating 'home,' I was dangled above a pit of nothingness and void. I was shown what is worse than depression, where it was worse than hell, and because I would not exist anymore, my soul would be destroyed. It was the single most frightening thing I have ever experienced because at least in hell your soul would still exist. This pit of black nothingness would completely destroy my consciousness and I would forget my entirety, my everything. I would cease to exist even in spirit. I remember crying out, 'No! I still love, I still love!' even though I hated everything and everyone. I still had the capacity to love things. I was shown that how I was treating my dog was an atrocity. I would scold him and intimidate him with fear when he would chew on things or defecate on the floor or decking...

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was as an Alex Grey painting called 'Vision Crystal' -- Kyal L

Instantly I was outside my body, hovering above the scene. I was completely alert. I was in a void and surrounded by only darkness, but I could see the scene below me. I was quite aware that I was no longer inside my body. I could see myself laying on the ground and all those I had been with looking on. -- Arthur W

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was fully conscious and in fact hyper-aware in the 'Void'...
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. At that void, there is no time. No up or down, no cold or hot. I dropped down through the seven levels what seemed like being on a slow freight elevator, which finally came to a stop on the basement floor. Time there was nonexistent. -- Paul G

It was a bit confusing, and I was not so certain I liked feeling that way. I use the word 'feeling,' but at the same time, I cannot recall having any emotions at all. I was free of my body and free of any emotion. Then I remember thinking that I didn't like being in the dark and, the next thing I knew, I was in a grey place.

All I saw there was one man, sitting on what looked like the top of some stairs or on the edge of a ledge of some sort. His brown hair was semi-long. He was wearing what looked like a grey sackcloth, loose garment of some sort. -- Glenda

Then there must have been another interval and I woke up. I was very confused and very affected by the drugs at this stage. I was made to go outside and walk around so I would not pass out again. I later reasoned that even if there appeared to be nothing around me, there was still a ‘me’ who was aware...
I certainly knew I was no longer in my body but the void and darkness around me still make me wonder if that was the edge of life, that there really is nothing more, but I cannot explain the fact that I still had a consciousness -- Connie F

I felt I had all the time there ever was and ever would be to answer. -- Stacy S

At that point, the being looked to his right and when he turned I could see his profile. He was humanoid, but not human. He had a very large nose and forehead/brow. I could see veins on his forehead and a grey tinge to his skin tone. I felt this being was old, very old, not in the human sense of old, but in the universal sense.

When he turned to his right, I got the sense that he was communicating to his partner. I somehow sensed that I had been evaluated on the merit of the question I had asked and he was confirming that I was not ready. Ready for what I did not know. I thought I had asked a pertinent, poignant question, but after the reaction/rejection I felt humiliated.

The next thing I knew I was on my back on a gurney with doctors and nurses working on me and I heard one of them say, 'I have a weak pulse.' -- Ross F

The speed was increasing continuously. I don't know how long I traveled because time was no longer relevant. I was aware that I was being directed toward something important. The light was in the distance. -- Cynthi K

Just then, the dear friend that had died a few months before, appears in front of me, and in a soft manner, kind of made my forward motion stop. As soon as I felt not moving anymore, he just said to me that I needed to go back, that it was not my time. He put his hand on my chest, kind of pushing me back, and I felt a lot of pain at that moment, and woke up with the local paramedics trying to revive me. I was taken to a hospital, and released later on that night. -- Nicolas G

That's when I came to and found myself in the emergency room; I could not talk.-- Janet N

Except for my mind's eye, all senses were gone. It was very black and not the least bit frightening, a very calm transition. I knew what was happening and it was fine. I honestly wanted to see where this journey led me. If one can imagine oneself in the absolute void of space this was it. Then I saw the twinkling of lights. I sensed from deep within something like 'Are you sure?' With that conscious thought, I decided I wanted to live and the battle was on. -- Johan C

It was dark and I wondered what I was doing there. Then for some reason, I took a big, wide step to my left. I was in another place. The sun was shining, it was warm, and it was beautiful. People were all happy, content, and busy. Many children. I remember my dead grandfather with his arm round me - he was showing me a building. There were many children. I didn't question anything, it was all 'meant to be'. It felt like coming home. But then I heard a voice say, 'You will remember nothing of this,' and a wrench. I was back in my body but I didn't know it. -- HB

With a flash of the most intense white light, I found myself standing before the Source. I hesitate to explain my experience at this point, as it seems to me that that part of an NDE is very individual and personal. I will suffice to say that the Source was a geodesic orb, which emanated all I sensed, felt, etc. and that there were other entities present. I was told to turn and look at what I was leaving and where I was going, in order to make a good decision. In other words, is this what I really wanted, or did I just want the pain to end? -- Lori M

Then, very suddenly, my flight was accelerated and I was quickly 'pulled in' through the opening in the wall. I remember going into the opening and seeing it move and almost 'dance', like something living. I was in a tunnel, or more of a long hall. There is not a good word that describes this place. It had the qualities both of something organic or 'tubular', maybe like an artery (the tunnel aspect) and of something 'constructed' or 'man-made' or 'square', like a hall. Totally impossible to describe, but again, a vivid memory from the experience.

I was then aware that I was, for the first time, 'standing on my feet', so to speak (though I didn't have a body!). Prior to this, I had been floating or flying. But now I was standing on the 'floor' of the 'hall' looking toward the 'far end' of it. Well, GOD was there. Or more accurately, a great Fire or Light that I was to understand 'represented' or 'stood for' God. -- Krikrikit

As a child I had asked my fatherwhat I should expect when I die. Since my dad leaned toward atheism, he would always say 'Nothing, just blackness. You won't feel anything.'

I immediately acknowledged to myself that this is what I was expecting to get upon death. It was a black nothingness and I didn't feel a thing. So, it seemed as if my dad was right about that. Yet if that was so, why was I able to acknowledge or perceive 'the nothingness' if I was truly dead? At this stage I could not tell if I was up or down. I was just nothing inside a void of nothingness. As soon as I realized that perhaps I was experiencing events suggested by my dad when I was a youngster, I began hearing voices that got louder and louder and louder.

Eventually, it was a loud ruckus all around me, but coming from below where I had been lying on a bed. I was still inside of a pitch-black void, but now I began to feel my r limbs. I was being grabbied by my legs, calves, and ankles, as Beings were trying to pull me downwards. Although I had been lying down on a bed before, it now felt as if I were upright and floating in space. I was not standing on anything. It seemed to me that the Beings below me were trying to pull me downwards to where they were because they were angry and tortured souls who wanted me to feel just as badly as they did.

I remember feeling terrified. It was so dark and I could not see anything below me, so it was hard to figure out what was going on. As they pulled me downwards toward them, I began to feel progressively colder. As the Beings pulled me into their midst, it seemed squishy and wet, as well as dark and cold. Meanwhile, the Beings all around me were ripping and tearing at me. I was thinking that I didn't like this at all and wanted to go back. Just as I was beginning to sense the hopelessness and helplessness that the Beings felt in this horrible place, I was all of a sudden getting shaken and woke up.

All sensations of darkness, cold, and squishiness left. All feelings of being ravaged by angry, agonized and tortured souls started to immediately fade away from my immediate experience. -- Onya M

I remember asking him so many questions. We only communicated with our minds, telepathically. Our lips never spoke a word. When I asked him, ‘Where am I?’ he didn't answer me. He just stared at me. It seemed like he was staring right through me. I remember screaming inside my head, ‘I have to go back, I have a husband, and I have a daughter and I have… oh my god, I have a son! Where is my son?’ I remember grabbing at my belly and saying, ‘where is my son?’ The man told me not to worry and then suddenly I came to. -- Sandi M

Suddenly in the void, I heard a voice. A male voice. He said, 'It's okay. It's all right. It's all good.' I went from total terror to total peace and acceptance of my life and responsibility. I was no longer worried about heaven or hell or my death. This voice accepted me, and did not judge me. I, in a way, had judged myself and clearly had an instant understanding of my life and how important it is to play our lives out to the end regardless of how hard it is and to get off of ourselves and to be in the company of each other to help each other. That abyss was total separation from all. I was in the 'I AM.' -- Richard L

After a bit, I started to see a small patch of pastel colored lights on the right side wall. I observed them. I loved them. They fascinated me and gave me a sense of not being alone. They seemed to pulsate slightly. I asked them questions but I do not recall the questions. The pastel lights did not speak for a long time. Then I heard low deep sounds I thought might be a voice but I could not make out any words. I encouraged the 'voice' to continue speaking. I wondered if it was God speaking to me and I asked as much. I could not understand the voice; it was no language I have ever heard. It was not like a human language at all. I was very relieved that I was no longer alone in the hallway. I had been so frightened that I had been and would be alone in the hall for eternity. Very, very slowly I began to hear more sounds, garbled voices. Then the voices became clearer and although I cannot recall exactly what they said, it was something along the lines of expressed relief and that I was regaining consciousness. -- Lady D

Then my whole life. Every single second, flashed before my eyes at what seemed like light-speed, but I still was able to comprehend everything. Not just every event, but every interaction I'd ever had. I saw how my words and actions had affected the recipients and what they had thought of me, good or bad.

After that, I started drifting off into this dark void and my euphoria turned to abject terror as my mind turned to thoughts of annihilation, drifting into this darkness, as if I thought the lights were going to go out for me permanently.

At this point Darren was grabbing me by the hair and pulling me out of water and on to the top of the overturned dinghy. It felt like I was rushing back into my body at the same time as I was being pulled out of the water. -- Liam O

When I awoke, I was in a dark, dark place. Totally void of light. I lifted up my hand and couldn't see it. There was nothingness all around me. Slowly I began to hear noises, ever so slowly they became louder until I realized that I was hearing the moaning and groaning of what sounded like hundreds (maybe thousands) of people. They were shouting, screaming, yelling in pain and sorrow. I couldn't see any of them; all I could do was hear their cries. Fear began to overtake my heart, panic was setting in and then I felt this sensation crawling up my legs, the left first, then the right. Instinctually I knew that if it engulfed me I would forever be in this place and I would be among those who were left in their misery. As the sensation came close to touching my belly, again, I saw this large, bright hand reach in, ALL that I could see was the light of this hand. Again, I heard that soft and authoritative voice say to me, 'My child, this is not what I want for you!' -- Geralyn AS

Once this had been realized, I looked up and there was a tunnel. The tunnel was dark in color but with love and care filling the void. There was no fear within me and the prospect of moving through it was filling me with joy and excitement. I started to rise up into the void and was filled with the feeling of returning home. Whatever was raising me there, made the journey comfortable and loving. On my journey upward, I felt a tug. I looked down and witnessed the man save me by running over and tell everyone to pick up my legs to re-inflate my lungs. When this happened, I was filled with dread at the prospect of returning to the earthly realm. With all of my spiritual might, I fought the return to my body. It was as if I was crying and asking God to not return me. Then POP, I was back in my body conscious ... -- Eruera

Then I felt that sense of flying again. That was what I did for a period of time. You know, when you have an experience like this, time seems to go on and on. Anyway, there I was, flying around, no thoughts or feelings. Until I had my first thought.

I was flying in the pitch-black dark. When I realized that I was in the dark, that void of emotion was filled with incredible dread. Unlike anything, I have ever felt before. I had another thought! And that was: 'Hell'. And then a question: 'Am I in hell? Or, am I on my way to hell?'

But, it didn't last long, I don't think. Because very far away from me, appeared a light. It wasn't there before and now it was. Oh and it seemed miles away. It was like being in a tube. I think that was because of the way the light was. Like being stuck in a well that had a lid or something that kept all of the light out, and the lid being removed. I started to fly towards it and the closer I got, the bigger and brighter it got. It wasn't like daytime light or really like any kind of light I have ever seen before. It was almost blurry at first. It was brighter than I could ever explain. Perhaps foggy is better to say than blurry. Yes, foggy is better.

As I became adjusted to the light, not that I was blinded by it but it was almost as if I had to get past it, to see what was beyond it.

When I got beyond the light, I realized that I was in the backyard of my grandparent's home....
The light was incredibly bright. I don't recall feeling like I couldn't look into it. As I got closer, I could tell that there was something beyond it. So, there was like a foggy cast within the light and once I got past it, everything was crystal clear. -- Shawna F

I was fully aware that I had no physical body. I was just an invisible entity that was spherical in shape, but relatively small in scope. I realized just how insignificant I really was in the vastness of space and the grand scheme of things, if there was such a thing. The concept of time was a strange one. It was as though time did not exist, but existed paradoxically as well. I felt like I understood the history of the universe from the beginning and end of the infinity of time, including the historical events and chronology of Earth and a vague understanding of other planets' histories as well.

I then began to think to myself, 'Did I just die? Is this the Afterlife? Where is this? Is this all there is when we die - nothingness?' I started to worry that perhaps this was a type of Purgatory as described in the Holy Bible. I felt completely isolated and wondered if perhaps this was not Purgatory, but that in fact there is nothing but a black dark void when a person dies. Perhaps there is no Afterlife and atheism was accurate - when we die there is just nothingness. After pondering this for a while, I decided that this did not make sense. Because if that were the case, why would my self-awareness continue to exist? If I still knew who I was, even if I didn't know exactly where I was, how I got there, or why I was there, then this was some type of Afterlife. There was the only explanation that made sense to me at the time.

As I floated in this void, I started to think to myself, 'Okay, so what did I do with my life on Earth? What did I accomplish? What did I do that meant anything?' The initial feeling that overwhelmed me as the answer to these questions was, 'I accomplished nothing. Everything I did was meaningless and no consequence.' But then I began to realize that this was true only to a certain degree. There were some things that mattered, but only a few. The first was relational connections with other sentient beings. The second was any altruistic acts I engaged in while living on Earth in a physical form. But those were basically the only things that really mattered.

In reviewing the details of my life, I realized that I had some genuine relationships with others that were significant. However, I felt like I was never going to be able to see them again or interact with them again. I felt completely isolated and cut off from everyone on Earth who I had caring and loving relationships with. This included my sister, mother, and various friends that I had developed strong emotional bonds with while on Earth. I tried to telepathically communicate with them through sheer will and determine, but all of these efforts failed. It was as though I was so far away, in the farthest reaches of deep space, that the signal was unable to reach anyone. I then decided to try to communicate with any sentient being in the universe, but these efforts failed as well. There was an intuitive understanding that there were other sentient beings besides the life forms on Earth, on other planets in various galaxies throughout the universe. I was vaguely aware of their existences. However, my ability to communicate with anyone or anything besides myself was completely and utterly out of my reach.

After further review of my life, I realized that I did do some altruistic acts toward other human beings, animals and plants. These acts were significant and meaningful, but they were not as many as I had hoped would be the case. Kindness that I showed toward people I cared about, toward animals in need or distress, toward helping the plants and oceans of Earth; these things mattered. I felt like I had wasted my life on trivial pursuits of material success, hedonism, and social esteem. All of these things were understood to be of no value and completely meaningless. Those things really did not matter. It was as though they never occurred. They were inconsequential. A great feeling of sadness overcame me at this point. My life was insignificant.

The one thing that disturbed me the most was the realization that I never had found true love while alive on Earth - all my attempts to find a soul mate were in vain. There was a deep pain that I felt when realizing this, as though I had failed in some cosmic way.

Suddenly, I experienced some type of gravitational pull that was almost instantaneous. It was as though I was pulled through a wormhole and transported trillions of light years back to Earth...
It was a dark void in deep space, the farthest reaches of the universe. -- James G

There, I was sometimes met by a being of pure light. Not a human form, but pure point of light, who communicated with me mind to mind, via some form of telepathy. I believe at first that it was God but later demoted it to an angel. Then this being showed me the tunnel that usually follows the near death event. I could not see either end of the tunnel as we were in total darkness, except for the point of intelligent light. It was an out of-body experience. I was told that one end of this tunnel lead to the light, and the other into the dark void.

It was explained to me, by this being of light, that this tunnel had two ends. One led into the glorious light of God, and the other into the darkness of the void. I would like to interject here, due to your prime question relating to judgment in the afterlife. Darkness (evil) cannot invade the light, for even one candle dispels the darkness. Only the light (goodness) can impact the darkness...
I believed it/he were what we mortals refer to as God. Later I was informed the being was not God but a highly evolved entity much like an angel. -- Alan McD

I looked out at a 45 degree angle and shot off like a rocket into this infinity of darkness I could see into. It was not like being in a dark room or closet it was a darkness I could see into an infinity. I felt like I was in space. I was looking for something but didn't know what I was looking for. I knew I was looking for something but I had no urgency to find it. I was calm, no pain or worry I was just looking for something. I was zooming through this darkness like a rocket but I could not feel wind it was motion going forward at a 45 degree angle. I could not hear voices during this motion through space.

All at once I came to an abrupt stop I was in this void with four entities to my left just above me and a voice of a man to my right and above the four entities say, 'he's not going to make it.' At that moment, I remember saying to myself 'hey they are talking about me.' I came back into myself through my eyes, -- Paul G

From sources other than nderf.org,

"I hit a place where i didnt experience the white light like alot of people describe, no angels, no devils
It was a very interesting environment in that it didn't have an environment, it was no sense of light, no sense of sound
It was an intuition of a choice
It said, "Do you want to continue doing this? Do you want to stop?" ...
But it was a choice, it was literally, if you wanted to give it a label, i'd say 'pure neutrality'
It wasn't into the light, it wasn't into the darkness
There was no form, there was no structure, there was no light, there was no sound
I didn't hear anything
It was bascially a sense that here's your choice:
Have you had enough? Do you want to play any more? Do you want to stop?" -- Glenn Parker

One’s entire perceptual orientation is turned upside down and inside out…

The problem was that what remained was a single Consciousness which existed in absolute aloneness.

Awakening to the “eternally complete consciousness” isn’t about being in the presence of the One or feeling union with God, both of which assume the existence of two entities, self and Divine. In this experience, one’s personal identity is obliterated. Nothing exists but self-aware Consciousness that knows itself to be the single and whole reality subsuming all space and time. The collapse of the phenomenal world (which doesn’t instantly vanish from view, but is seen to be a stupendous “trick” of the One Mind) is disemboweling to the psyche. This was the most harrowing, soul-shattering, and simultaneously the most illuminating and transcendent experience of my life. For me, the unbearable thing was not that El Collie had vanished; my self-deletion was akin to removing a costume. The problem was that what remained was a single Consciousness which existed in absolute aloneness.

The “eternally complete consciousness,” a. k. a. God/Goddess/Self is the Infinite One proclaimed by mystics from every tradition. Direct knowing of the One Consciousness dissolves the self who would be the “knower.” There is no one standing apart from the One to bear it witness when awakening occurs. Rather, the individual self is understood to be an illusion of a separate identity. All duality ceases to have meaning; there is no opposition or division anywhere. In the deepest sense, no one can awaken to this truth. Becoming Self-Realized is the experience of knowing there never was and never will be anyone to become enlightened, and that nothing but Consciousness IT-Self is eternally real. Mystics throughout the ages have struggled to convey this apparently logic-defying Reality which seems to be saying that nobody is there when satori/samadhi occurs. But that is just it—there is no body, there is only the One Eternal Self, the true Self who we all are. In this highest sense, we do not each have a distinct and separate Atman/Self. Rather, we are individuations, creative expressions of a Single Being."

5. The Void

At this point of my near-death experience, I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void.

I was in pre creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time / the First Word/the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness. When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That’s a mind-expanding thought, isn’t it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event that created the Universe. I saw during my life after death experience that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by super computers using fractal geometry equations.

The ancients knew of this. They said God had periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and recreated other Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and recreating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create...

It took me years after I returned from my near-death experience to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you this now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence. The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything else!

What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration. The biblical "I am" really has a question mark after it. "I am -- What am I?" So creation is God exploring God’s Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. I began to see during my near-death experience that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void.

As I was exploring the Void during my life after death experience and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe!

When I realized this I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights. I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do you know what is on the other side of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy, which has been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.

"But the beauty was yet to be experienced and that was the beauty of following the Light.... After that light pierced the darkness which began as a pinpoint of light, just a speck of light, enough to attract my attention and I knew, Art, that anyone in this dark space with me, anyone of us, if we saw that light and we so desired it, we could all turn and go towards that light, but I also knew there could be spiritual beings who would not be prepared to go there. They would not release what they had here in this comfort and in this beauty, that they would not follow that light. But I wanted to... I think that some of them did not go to the light because they did not trust or believe in it. This may come from a person's belief system, you know, there are some of us that feel the minute we die, we're gonna go straight to Hell."

I don't remember actually like landing. I was just there. I was out of my body -- BAM -- I'm in the dark in what I believe is in the bottom of Wherever I am, okay. Some people want to call that place Hell. if it is, it ain't that bad...

I wasn't looking for anything. I'd just died. I hadn't even figured out that I was dead yet. But I did look up , okay, and looked up and behind me so I remember looking up and behind me... So I turned around and looked. And up above me there was this little bitty window of light... like, imagine a window real far away. It wasn't round. It was like a little rectangle, okay, way, way, way far away. And, wow, now THAT reminded me of my little package of Love that I had -- that I had just seen. That was it... my little sum of who I am. And just like Superman I kinda like stuck my arms forward. I didn't see them because it was so dark and then behind me... and I started lifting my chin up... or, granted, I don't see a chin but I felt like I was lifting up my chin and turning towards the light and then I started floating up... not just like really slow, but kind of quickly... I knew I wanted to go THERE, okay, when you're looking around and there's no love whatsoever -- nothing -- and you're thinking 'this is not where I wanna be'...

Later on, he refers to the darkness as sitting on a shelf: "... you just sit on a shelf for the rest, until the end of Time, Is that what you want to do? I don't know, but just to be an observer? And maybe not even that. Maybe you just turn off until the end of Time."

I had an atypical NDE earlier this year and came back with totally changed ideas about what is actually true. My belief system prior was no frills Humanist Taoist/Buddhist... Now, I am leaning strongly toward Gnosticism which is about as far from my former austere, minimalistic beliefs as I could get...

I was judged by the demiurge and left to his low-vibrational underlings who tormented me horrifically for what seemed like ages in another dimension that was like an empty void. I was intervened for by The Mother. Isis, Maa, Sophia, Ninhursag all fit. She is purer, loving, compassionate, alien, immense, concerned, dismayed, black like the void of space, powerful, amazing. To say that I never saw Her coming is a vast understatement, as literally nothing in my belief system prepared me for this NDE. It left me with PTSD symptoms for a while and is something I am still trying to fit into my world in some sensible way...

I cannot explain it because it was not part of my belief system at all prior to this, but I believed him to be an archon. I believe the color that flashed was green, though I am not certain of this. I saw and sensed him, and he and everything to do with him was a pinkish-purple so that is probably why that color is at the forefront of this memory of the flash of light that happened at the same time as the cracking sound. I sensed that he was very powerful but absent; he had delegated this to underlings which were terrible, low vibrational beings who hate everything. After the crack and flash of light I was in a void- like colorless grey place. The color that flashed wasnt what he could work with, but I was still in their hands, trapped there. I was floating on my back in that void, surrounded by 7 or more low entities. They tormented me with pain, crushing, taunting, horrible emotional energy attack. Throughout the experience I wanted to flee, resist them, or escape even though there was no way for me to even try do so. They had me. All I could do was suffer and there are no words to describe how terrible this was. In addition to being in horrible torment I felt that it was a complete injustice, that I did not deserve this, that I did not belong there. I felt like these entities were wrong in every possible way and I didn't understand why they had me. I am a good person who genuinely tries to grow and help others...

I believe now that it was primarily that I didn’t accept their torment or judgement as being correct that seemed to eventually stop it.

Although the space I instantly ended up in was completely black, as if nothing at all was there, I could sense the presence of everything encompassed within it.

I no longer had my identity or personality. My awareness of myself and my body was gone. I, as I know myself right now, dissolved completely. I was nowhere, yet I was everywhere all at once.

Absorbed into the black space that encompassed it all, I was a part of the primordial field of the energy that creates and sustains worlds. I was within the very fabric of reality.

This black space is commonly known as "The Void". Experiencing the state of the Void in the Buddhist and the Hinduist scriptures is called the state of Samadhi...

As you allow yourself to acclimate and fine-tune your perception, you will feel and know that nothing at all is missing within that incredible state.

You will not be blacked out, you will be fully conscious, but your consciousness will no longer be limited or localized to who you are as a human being.

The indescribable peace, the highest level of unconditional love for all, the boundless freedom, and the presence of the consciousness of everything – this is what you will experience within the state of the void. The rest of this experience is beyond anything that could be put into words.

My personal desire for the end of this final incarnation is to be just that. I want to be the pure energy of the void without taking on any form whatsoever.

Here is the cherry on top for those not attracted to the same idea. Given that the Void is the state of reality that literally encompasses everything, you can navigate from there and visit any world you wish once you are in it. -- meditation experience, Isabella A. Greene, Leaving the Trap: How To Exit the Reincarnation Cycle